Thursday, October 13, 2016

Sleeps and naps


I have a friend who once told me a statement that I have come to realize is so so sooo true and made me feel way better about the first two momma problems.

The statement goes like this...
Either your baby will be a good sleeper or a good eater.

I have a great sleeper. Seriously though she was sleeping through the night at the hospital and since we brought her home.
So I feel a bit ridiculous writing about this. I have done a bit of research on this topic in case of emergency, and tons of people have told me that their sleep habits change as they get older.

So here is my logic:
Babies are tiny humans.

It's pretty simple.
Babies are babies, which means their bodies primary job right now is to grow, once they grow enough they can move on their own and they can learn. So again right now main goal is grow.

Growing can take a lot out of you, you will really know what I mean if you ever experienced growing pains.
Not only are their bodies growing but their little brains are getting not so little. 

This means they need sleep for body growing, brain growing, emotional growing ( have ever given yourself a headache from crying?) It being night time, momma time... Well a whole slew of reasons can be chalked up for babies needing sleep.

So I propose sleep rule 1:
Let the sleeping baby lie.

You don't know why they are asleep but just let them sleep.
I once read a study about how good daytime naps lead to better night sleeps.
What I got out of this is being overly tired can kick you in the butt. This has happened to us once or twice now. 
If the baby does not rest enough in the day it will be not just tired but exhausted, and frustrated which is not a good sleep combo. 

I think schedules can help you as a momma remember that your little one will be tired around a certain time, but don't let the schedule dictate your life. I found that my baby has a good rhythm of her own, so I wrote it down, remember and then I can help her get to sleep.

Don't wake a baby to eat, or to change a wet bum.
A baby will wake up when they are hungry.
Urine is sterile and won't cause any infections, poop on the other hand will, so that is the only time you should change a bum for a sleeping baby.
Sleep rule 2:
Naps are naps 
Sleeps are sleeps

These two things need to be distinctly different for the baby so they don't get confused between night time and day time.

I'd like you to take a walk down memory lane when it comes to your past naps. Have you ever been exhausted, gone to take a nap, but accidentally treated it like a sleep?

What I mean here is have you turned off the lights, gotten in cozy clothes in your cozy quiet bed and ended up sleeping way way way longer than you intended? 
Well that's because your body thought it was time to sleep so it treated your nap like a sleep.

Just like you your babies body can treat a nap like sleep if it's under sleep conditions.

What do we do?
1-lights. During naps there is light on in the toom. 
2- noise, noise like light tells our bodies it's day time, we use a fan at night for white noise but during nap time a dish washer sometimes runs, sometimes a vacuum. Really just keep living life, just slowly and quietly introduce the noise. A sudden noise can be a little too much for the sleeping babe to process.
3- location, right now our naps usually don't take place where our sleeps do.
Currently she sleeps in a pack n play in our room, and naps in the crib, on the floor on a blanket or in my arms ( don't give me slack... she will only be this little once and I don't like missing out on the precious moments. Plus she is sleeping through the night so I'm not too worried.)

It's important to remember babies are learning how to sleep, how to put themselves to sleep, and how to stay asleep. Keep this in mind.

What we do for Sleeps
1- dark
2- quiet
4-routine. Ours is, change bum, lotion up, jammas, prayers, last little snack, hugs kisses and good night's.
5-place. Don't hold a sleeping baby during a sleep. You don't want them to be dependent on you for sleeps. 
6-feedings we practice le pause, thanks to the book bringing up bebe.
This means when she cries we pause, this gives us time to determine what she needs.
Like humans little humans sometimes wake up while they are sleeping. Sometimes they are hungry, sometimes they are not. When she is hungry we feed her, burp her, give her a hug and lay her back down in her bed.

Plug- I do not support co sleeping what so ever..  Why? My husband is a very sound sleeper and I'm terrified he will smoosh her. I would end up spending the night in defense protecting the baby, meaning I won't get my sleep and that is a definite no go in this house.
I also strongly believe this sets up the bad habit of sleeping with mom and dad, and when that happens special mommy daddy time can't happen.
We need special mommy daddy time. 

So far for us sleeps are great, which makes us all happy.
Let's just hope that teeth, and sickness don't mess is up too bad.
I hope we are setting ourselves up for great sleep habits.

Have any good sleep advice?
Feel free to comment and share!
Anything you are going to try? Let me know how it goes!

A real mom with a real brain

So I'm a new momma of 4 months now, and ive done probably what most new mom's due, look to the internet for advice and how to prepare for my little ones arrival.

While searching and scouring I realized there is a lot of huey baluey out there. 
I feel like a lot of people are not using their brains.

So I wanted to do an article series of real mom probs and how I have used my Brian and other suggestions and help to overcome them. If anything I hope these ideas trigger something that will get you where you are wanting to go. Let's face it, being a mom is hard, that's why it takes a village to raise a kid.

Here are some Mom problems I'm hoping to cover over the next few weeks....
Momma time
Intimate relations

Let me know if you'd like to add anything to this list!

Monday, July 18, 2016

Learning Emotions


This week (week 7) has overall been a good week!

Amelia is this constant ball of learning and growing.
It's amazing to me that a baby could learn so much. Many people think they don't know a lot, but man watching this little one up close, it becomes hard to think that she is not learning and growing every second of every day.

When she was littler (she 7 weeks how littler can she get?) she would cry like every other baby does.
It's a bit frustrating as a new parent to hear your baby cry for a few reasons...
1. You want to help your child.
2. You may not know what your child needs. (Example: bum changed, to be fed, burped, sleep, or they may even just have gas which is no laughing matter.)
3. Baby cries are heartbreaking. If you don't think so it's just proof you don't have a heart.

As Amelia has grown, her cries have too. She has been able to differentiate between the things that make her uncomfortable.

She went from the same type of cry for everything to two different cries.
Numeral uno-I'm hungry, I'm tired.
Numeral dos- "I'm uncomfortable" as I have labeled it. This means I need a bum change, I'm bored, or I'm slightly tired, but not enough to make a big stink about it yet.

Learning the difference between these two has made our baby trouble shoot much easier!

She has learned so many things!
She can blow little bubbles, smile when we smile, coo, hold her head up, stand with assistance for short amounts of time, and do a kicky wiggly dance.
That's a lot to perfect in 7 weeks.

Now that brings us to this week.
The week of emotions.

I first noticed it while giving her a bath. It was obvious, a wail, a very very sad wail. A sound that was instantly heart shattering. It was the sound of sadness.
My baby felt sadness.
I thought maybe it wasn't that, then it happened again the other day when B was changing her bum.
Now I can't deny it, my baby knows what sadness is.

But with that being said she has also had an increase of joy. 
This week she has started to purposefully smile back at us.
Man, I never knew how happy a little persons smile could make me.

The first time she did that was also in the bath. ( I'm starting to think that bath time is source of inspiration in learning and growth for this little one) 

I could see the light in her eyes increase. Then her mouth began to move in a funny way.
It opened up and the lips began to do a movement similar to the wave.
Then it just popped up on her face.

I yelled for B to come, apparently in such an urgent way that he hung up with his mother and came running.
He was relieved to find that it was just for a smile.

Now every day we seem to have a happy hour. A time of the day where a smile is easily found in her face, and ours.

We put away all destractions at this time. We snuggle up with each other and just enjoy the company. 

It's these moments that I live for, trust I love with my whole heart.

This growth of emotions just makes it even more clear that there is opposition in all things.

I was so sad to recognize that my baby feels sadness, but I am very happy she feels joy. 

If they come together then I guess I'm grateful for sadness because it helps her understand joy.

These ideas of sadness and joy are written very clearly in the scriptures from the 2nd book of Nephi in the book of Mormon which reads...

22 And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end.

23 And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.

24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.

25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

26 And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.

One of my favorite parts is that men are that they might have joy.

We were each created to experience happiness. Heavenly father wants us to be happy, but this also comes with being sad so we can understand the difference.

It's amazing how clear things can become as a parent with hindsight.

Well cheers to being sad so we can be happy, and cheers finding joy in this amazing experience we call life!

The first month

Post pardon depression and Nursing.

First things first:
Postpartum depression is a very real and very powerful thing.
If anybody ever suspects that they have it I highly recommend talking with your doctor.

It was explained to me in the hospital that I would be very emotional for about 2 weeks while my hormones leveled out. After that amount of time if I felt depressed, down, blue , had any thoughts of hurting myself or my baby then I should talk to a doctor.

Those 2 weeks are, well there is no better way to put it than crazy.
That's exactly what I was.
One day I would be super happy with tons of energy and then a moment later I would be crying over the fact that my baby had grown 3 inches.

I think just the part of knowing that those quick emotional changes were normal helped me out a lot.
I was able to tell myself that the crazy part was not me.
Yes I love my baby, and yes I'm sad she will grow up, but it's not so dramatic as it was in my head.

I didn't want to have to deal with hormones for a long time so I started doing some research.

I learned many things like hormones are stored in fat cells, this can be a reason why some women deal with postpartum depression for such a long time. 
I made a resolution to get the weight off. I'm not shooting for unrealistic goals, but E do want to be able to do a 5k at the end of the summer. I know it will take some work and dedication, but I'm ready for it.

Another thing I've done is gotten a massage the week after giving birth.
Because hormones are stored in fat,a deep tissue massage can get things loose and flowing. This really helped to flush my system of them.

I also learned that the foods we eat can have a big impact on us.
I've decreased my intake of dairy, meat, and processed foods and replaced them with more fresh fruits and vegetables.

Drinking plenty of water is also key to flushing out the pregnancy hormones. Think of it like a water slide, the more water the quicker they go.

One last thing that I have enjoyed is detox baths. There are a few recipes online but my favorite one includes apple cider vinegar, Epsom salts, and a few drops of lavender oil.
If you want to give it a try follow these rules:
Make sure the water is HOT and soak for 30 mins.
Make sure you sweat!
And drink lots of water before and after.

I know I have my moments of feeling blue, like I'm not qualified for this job of mom, but my husband always has my back. We talk about feelings and separate the real from the crazy and it helps me feel good.

I'm convinced that everyone experiences postpartum depression to a degree, but how we handle it can have the bigger impact.
I think my research has prepared me a lot, and I think I'm on a good path to having my hormones back to normal and under control. 

I also know not all people are the same, so these things may not work for others. Once again, if you even question if you gave postpartum depression please see your doctor, they can help you separate the crazy from reality.

The other real struggle thus past month has been nursing my baby.
I felt like we didn't have the best start. To begin with I didn't even know how long I should nurse her for, I was told she would pull away, but anyone who has ever nursed can tell you that may happen a few times before they are actually done.

This lack of feeding led to another problem, Jaundice. She wasn't eating enough to lower her bilirubin.
We had to stay an additional day so our baby could get light treatments to help decrease the bilirubin.

At that point in time we were informed that she needed to nurse for 10-15 mins on each side.

This was nearly triple the time she had been eating for.

The bilirubin and decreased amount of food caused our baby to be so sleepy and lethargic. Feedings became a game called keep the baby awake, and the baby won more often than we did.

It also became very stressful when we only had half an hour with our baby to feed her in between light treatment sessions.

When we went home we had to slightly supplement feedings to help decrease the bilirubin while my milk came in.

In the end everything worked out fine but we are still practicing this eating thing.

One other difficulty that has come up is how my eating affects her.
For the past week we would have problems because she would pull her latch off and just scream at me. Turns out it was from gas, and I realized I needed to change my diet.

This is not going to be easy because all the foods I typically enjoy can cause a baby to be very gassy.
The foods that are recommended turn out to be the stuff I think is yucky, or just don't know how to cook it.

Thanks to the Internet I've discovered a few recipes that we will be trying, but just cutting back on some foods has proven to be a good idea.

Less gas pains for baby, and one happier momma. 

If I've learned anything this past month it's that I'm always going to be learning how to do this mom thing.
Sometimes it will be by trial and error and other times it will be from advice. I just hope I'm not too stubborn to miss the learning opportunities I am given.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Amelia Arrival

This is how our birth story goes 
5:45 wake up having contractions 5 mins apart. 
6:15 wake husband up and tell him.
Double check hospital bag.
Husband asks if I'm sure I'm in labor because I'm "way too calm."

I guess I was calm because I knew she was finally coming, it wasn't a guessing game anymore.

7:00 get to hospital. Register, answer a billion questions, monitor to check progress.
8:30 discharged due to not progressing enough.

Went on a 3 mile walk.
Went to the store for some pants, and got lunch.

I labored for a few hours more befor finally going back to the hospital at 6 and being admitted at 7.

After 3 hours I started to not progress very well and around 10 the dr broke my water, which brought a lot of relief to me.

Around 2 I received and epidural.
It was slightly disappointing, but I wasn't progressing very well and the nurses thought it could be due to the stress I was under from the pain.
I cried while making this decision because I wanted to have a natural delivery, and the thought of an epidural scared me. 
I'm not a fan of needles.

I progressed for another little while and then plateaued once again.
This time they gave me pitocin. 
I was strongly against pitocin in the beginning due to the fact that it makes contractions harder and faster and that would lead to en epidural.
Since I already had the epidural, might as well have the pitocin.

After that point things moved along very quickly and at about 6:25 it was time to push.
They couldn't get the doctor there quick enough for me. I felt the need to push.
The doctor was still putting on the paper gown and gloves when I started to push.

It didn't take long as I was determined to get my baby girl here.

At 6:41 Our Amelia Jane decided she was ready to meet us.
She weighed 7 lbs 10 oz and was 18.5 inches long.

I'll be honest, being pregnant wasn't my jam, laboring for 24 plus hours was not my idea of fun. Giving birth, however, the part that I was most concerned about, ended up being my favorite part.

Maybe it's the pent up anticipation, the relief of pressure, but I think there is more to it.
It's a very spiritual moment, you are experiencing a moment that God has given you, a moment that in a split second your capacity to love and feel has increased.

We have these moments in our lives but usually they take longer periods of time. As I met and got to know my husband it took many years to develope the love I have for him (we met in middle school).
The love I have for my baby was over powering and instantaneous.

It was also amazing how quickly my love for my husband grew in that moment too. I realized that my love for him increased my love for her, and the more I loved her the more I loved him.

Because of that feeling I'm excited to have more children. 
I'm excited to increase my capacity for love. I'm excited to create and feel so connected with my heavenly parents.

Being this girls mamma is my favorite thing to be.

I'm excited to watch her life unfold, I know we will have our ups and our downs but I know me and my husband will always be there for her with our hands up and ready to enjoy the ride!

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Oh Baby!

As is probably obvious, I have been a super slacker when it comes to keeping up with my adventures, so lets see if I can re-cap and help update all...

December 2014...
Got sealed to my best friend for all time and eternity!

Look at us! We are so cute, and that day was sooo cold!

In the following months the following happened:
We both had birthdays.
We ate a lot of good food.
We bought our first car!
We got a new job, lost a job, got another job, quite a job, and started a business.

We do wedding films if you didn't know. 
I personally just think I am in love with... LOVE!

We spend way too much money of fun film stuff. (Notice the present tense)
We went on vacations
We welcomed home grandparents from missions
and we decided to grow our family!

We found out in August that we would be having a little baby T come May!

I just love that cute little face!!

Here's how we broke the news to some family members...

It was a very exciting time in our lives, well, still is!

In December we had an ultra-sound. This is where the technician told us we would be having a little boy! We were very excited, ok well I was! B kinda had his heart set on a little girl.
The technician said, "It's a little early, but typically those things don't fall off."

So we felt confident in sharing the news.
We told our families, but not the whole world yet.

Then one night while having dinner with friends we told them the news, then we all joked around that with mine and B's luck it would actually be a girl.

Well we went to the doctors office for our scheduled ultra-sound to make sure everything was developing. 
This time we had the actual doctor performing the ultra-sound.
He searched for the gender and then showed us on the screen.

Doctor: There you can see the gender of the baby
*Afton looks at B*
*B looks at Afton*
I think to myself: somethings missing...
*Doctor can tell we are confused*
Doctor: Looks like you are having a little girl.

*B super excited and shocked*
*Afton just plain shocked*


It was very strange, almost if we needed to lament the loss of our little boy, yet there really was not loss. We rode home in shock, and also with gratitude that we had not made any purchases for the babe at the time.

So we had to go back and tell our families with our tails between our legs.

We put together a little scavenger hunt for my nieces and nephews. At the end it had a sign which read...
We have all "bean boozeled"(yes we taped the game there).
We are sorry Grandpa Moy
We really thought we were having a little boy.
Our treasure is more precious than a ruby or pearl,
yup that's right everyone, we are having a girl!

So then commenced the buying of pink, and frills, and dresses.
This girl will own enough clothes to wear a different outfit everyday for the first YEAR of her life.
That may be an exaggeration, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't exaggerate.

So here we are today...

34 weeks pregnant and excited more than ever to meet this little one!!

A little like baby A and a little like baby B
in just 6 short weeks we will meet our baby T!

As always, 
with love,
Afton Michelle

Adventures as a Manager

I should begin with a disclaimer...
I am pregnant
I have dealt with too many rude people today
I'm probably eating too many skittles while trying to console myself.

So this will hopefully be read by some of the people who live in the apartment complex and it is mostly directed at them.... here goes nothing.

My name is Afton Taylor.
I'm a person.
I work a job.
My job happens to be the manager of an apartment complex.
My job includes replying to e-mails, sending out rent statements, applying cleaning charges for failed cleaning checks... mostly just making sure residents uphold their end of the contract.

Point of clarification: I DON'T MAKE THINGS UP!
If I charge you for something, there is a real reason, and IT IS IN THE CONTRACT!

I really do want the residents to succeed!
I want everyone to pass their cleaning check!
I want everyone to use utilities wisely so the bill is not outrageous! (p.s. utility charges affect me too!)
I want everyone to understand what the rules to living here are, because it makes my life and their lives easier!!

Did you know?
I don't make extra money off of residents.
I don't get bonuses for failing your cleaning checks.
I don't get a raise if I charge everyone with make believe charges... I would actually get fired!
I don't actually get paid a whole ton, and I don't live here for free either.

Fun Fact:
I'm having a baby! Pretty soon too!
I can't always think clearly, something to do with hormones, and I know it sounds like an excuse but ask any mother and they will know what I am talking about.

This whole being pregnant thing has affected my work. I will not lie.
Sometimes I have been very sick, I have had two run in's with the flu this past school year on top of morning sickness and I even caught pneumonia. This was really unfortunate because I wasn't able to be in the office as much as the residents may have needed me.
I sometimes have Dr's appointments, and sometimes just don't feel well.
I guess I'm not the best at growing a person, but at least I'm trying.

I try to help the residents as best as I can. I try to respond to e-mails, notes and voice mails as quickly as I can. I want them to obtain an understanding of why things are the way they are.
Sometimes I don't have all the answers.
I don't know why the contract sale fee is $40.
I just know it is in the contract.

I do know that the residents have the responsibility to read and understand the contract as much as I do.
I do know that residents should look at the space of their apartment before signing a contract based on price and being very sad that it's not what they had imagined.
I do know that I try to be a moral person. This means doing my job to my best ability, and I know that sometimes this may make other people unhappy.
I'm sorry I'm not willing to bend the rules for you, and sometimes I  am sorry you don't understand the rules.

Please don't call me out over the internet, especially under a psuedo name!
What bogus is that? I can't help you overcome anything if I don't know who you are.

Remember it's not a good idea to tick off your manager. I may be a little more strict on your cleaning check, because you were more strict on me.

Question for yourself?
If my manager could write a review about me what would it say?
- consistently pays rent late, yes it is by the grace period, but this resident is always slacking.
- does not put in the appropriate time to clean. I would not recommend this person as a spouse because of their lack of cleanliness.
- Loves to complain, but does not like to actually work to fix a problem. I would say they are selfish and unable to be a responsible person.

Reviews on the flip side...
-Very punctual and dependable with rent.
-Kind to everyone they meet, I constantly hear them complimenting the other residents and see them going out of their way to help others feel important, including me.
-MARRY THIS PERSON!! They are very responsible, clean, hard working, and willing to go the extra mile to make things work. This is the person that will work through hardships with you. They are definitely a go getter!

This week is cleaning checks.
I do have words of wisdom.
Read the whole cleaning check packet. We give you all the information that is needed to pass cleaning checks. Most people who fail do so because they do not use the correct tools, or forget to do the whole job.
I really would like everyone to pass because it's less work for me, and I get to give you more of your security deposit back.


I wish people were nicer. I wish people remembered I have feelings.
That is all.